Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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