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• (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?

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• (585): View more from New York

  with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?

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• (315): View more from New York

  Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.

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• (646): View more from New York

  congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism

  (917): View more from New York City

  cool. same. I'm in class drinking

  (646): View more from New York

  NOT OKAY

  (917): View more from New York City

  sorry for partying

  (646): View more from New York

  THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups

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