Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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