In the future we'll all be gay
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
