her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
