This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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