He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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