he shaved USA in his pubs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how do flat chested girls get laid?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
