I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
