okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
