ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
