Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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