So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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