Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize