if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
