This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
