I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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