May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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