they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The beer is more important than you right now.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
