I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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