what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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