Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
