It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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