I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how drunk are you?
Several
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
