bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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