You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This baby is an asshole
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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