break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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