he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So here I am, sexting at work.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
