It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
