Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize