hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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