gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyone says I win the strip club
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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