sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
