Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
