This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
