I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
