last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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