i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
