Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
