Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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