dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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