that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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