I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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