Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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