I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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