I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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