Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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