Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
