wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it hurts more in the daytime
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
