Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
