How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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