Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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