this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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