I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
