it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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