it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
