you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
nutella sex= disaster
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
