I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They have beer where we have blood.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize