check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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