We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
