Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
