is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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