Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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