I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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