shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
