its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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