hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
