did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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